Non Verbal Communication Skills

NON-VERBAL COMMUNICATION

4.1       Introduction

            If ‘non’ means not and verbal means with words, then it seems logical that nonverbal communication would involve “communication without words”. This definition is an oversimplification, however, because it, fails to distinguish between vocal communication (by mouth) and verbal communication (with words). A better definition of nonverbal communication is “messages expressed by nonlinguistic means”.

            These nonlinguistic messages are important because what we do often conveys more meaning than what we say. A psychologist working in the field of nonverbal behavior claimed that 93 percent of the emotional impact of a message comes from a nonverbal source, whereas only a paltry 7 percent is verbal. Although social scientists have disputed these figures, the point remains nonverbal communication contributes a great deal to shaping perceptions.

            You might ask how nonverbal communication can be so powerful. At first glance it seems as if meanings come from words. To answer this question, recall a time when you observed speakers of an unfamiliar language communicating. Although you can’t understand the words being spoken there are plenty of clues that give you an idea of what is going on in the exchange. By tuning into their facial expressions, postures, gestures, vocal tones, and other behaviors you probably can make assumptions about the way the communicators feel about one another at the moments and get some ideas about the nature of their relationship. Researchers have found that subjects who hear content-free speech-ordinary speech that has been electronically manipulated so that the words are unintelligible can consistently recognize the emotion being expressed as well as identify its strength.

4.2       Characteristics of Nonverbal Communication

            The many types of nonverbal communication share some characteristics. As table 7.1 shows these characteristics are quite different from verbal, linguistic means of communication. We will now take a look at some of the fundamental characteristics of nonverbal communication.

4.2.1    All Behavior Has Communicative Value

            Some theorists have suggested that all nonverbal behavior communicates information. They argue that it is impossible not to communicate. You can understand the impossibility of non communication by considering what you would do if someone told you not to communicate any messages at all. What would you do? Close your eyes? Withdraw into a ball? Leave the room? You can probably see that even these behaviors communicate messages that mean you are avoiding contact. One study took just this approach. When communicators were told not to express nonverbal clues, others viewed them as dull, withdrawn, uneasy, aloof, and deceptive.

            The impossibility of not communicating is significant because it means that each of us is kind of transmitter that cannot be shut off. No matter what we do, we sent out message that say something about ourselves and our relationship with others.

            Although nonverbal behavior reveals information, we aren’t always conscious of what we are communicating nonverbally. In one study, less than a quarter of experimental subjects who had been instructed to show increased or decreased liking of a partner could describe the nonverbal behavior they used. Furthermore, just because communicators are nonverbally expressive doesn’t mean that others will turn into the abundance of unspoken messages that are available. One study comparing the richness of email to in-person communication confirmed the greater amount of information available in face-to-face conversation, but it also showed that some communicators (primarily men) failed to recognize these messages.

(Table 4.1)      Some Differences Between Verbal and Nonverbal Communication

Verbal Communication	Nonverbal Communication
Mostly voluntary and conscious	Often unconscious
Usually content oriented	Usually relational
Can be clear or vague	Inherently ambiguous
Primarily shaped by culture	Primarily shaped by  biology
Discontinuous / Intermittent	Continuous
Single- channel (words only)	Multi -channeled

4.2.2    Nonverbal Communication Is Primarily Relational

One important social function of nonverbal communication involves identity management. Nonverbal communication plays an important role in this process - in many cases a role that is more important than that of verbal messages. For example consider what happens when you attend a party where you are likely to meet strangers you would like to get to know better. Instead of projecting your image verbally (Hi, I’m attractive, friendly and easygoing). You might smile a lot and perhaps try to strike a relaxed pose. It’s also likely that you dress carefully even if the image involves looking as if you had not given a lot of attention to your appearance.

Along with identity management, nonverbal communication allows us to define the kind of relationships we want to have with others. You can appreciate this fact by thinking about a wide range of ways you could behave when greeting another person. You could wave, shake hands, nod, smile, clap the other person on back, give a hug or avoid all contact. Each of these behaviors sends a message about the nature of your relationship with the other person.

4.2.3    Nonverbal Communication Is Ambiguous

            Language can be ambiguous. (For example, the statement that nose piercing really makes you “stand out” could be a compliment, or a criticism, and the vague statement, “I’m almost done” could mean you have to wait a few minutes or an hour). Most nonverbal behavior has the potential to be even more ambiguous than verbal statements like these. To understand why, consider how you would interpret silence from your companion during an evening together. Think of all the possible meaning of this nonverbal behavior: Warmth, anger, preoccupation, boredom, nervousness, and thought fullness- the possibilities are many.

Summarizing studies on emotion recognition within and across cultures, we can found that while emotions were universally recognized at better- than- chance levels, accuracy was higher when emotion ere both expressed and recognized by members of the same national ethnic or regional group suggesting an in-group advantage. However not all nonverbal behavior is equally identifiable. In laboratory settings subjects are better at identifying positive facial expressions such as happiness love surprise and interest than negative ones like fear, sadness, anger and disgust. In real life though, spontaneous nonverbal expressions are so ambiguous that observers are frequently unable to identify accurately what they mean.

            Because nonverbal behavior is so ambiguous, caution is wise when you are responding to nonverbal cues. Rather than jumping to conclusions about the meaning of a sigh, smile slammed door or yawn, it’s better to use the kind of perception-checking approach. “When you yawned I got the idea I might be boring you. But may be you are just tired. What’s going on?” The ability to consider more than one possible interpretation for nonverbal behavior illustrates the kind of cognitive complexity as an element of communication competence. In fact, research has demonstrated that cognitively complex people are better at decoding nonverbal behavior than those who jump to conclusions about its meaning. Popular advice on the subject notwithstanding it’s usually not possible to read a person like a book.

4.3       Functions of nonverbal Communication

While are dealing here with nonverbal communication, don’t get the idea that our words and actions are unrelated. Quite the opposite is true: Verbal and nonverbal communication are inter- connected, although not always in the same way. Let’s take a look at the various relationships between our words and other types of expression.

4.3.1    Repeating

First, nonverbal behavior may repeat a verbal message. If someone asked you for directions to the nearest drugstore, you could say” Go north about two blocks” and then repeat your instructions nonverbally by pointing north. This kind of repetition is especially useful when we’re describing an idea with a visual dimension, such as size, shape, or direction. Repeating is so much a part of face-to-face interaction that many people regard it as a required part of communication.

4.3.2    Substituting    

We can substitute nonverbal messages for verbal ones that we communicate. For instance, the more you know someone, the easier it is to use nonverbal expressions as a kind of shorthand to substitute for words. When you see a familiar friend wearing a certain facial expression, it isn’t necessary to ask, “What kind of day did you have?” In the same way, experience has probably shown you that certain kinds of looks, gestures, and other clues say, far better than words, “I’m angry at you” or “I feel great”.

Some nonverbal behaviors – called emblems- are culturally understood substitutes for verbal expressions. Nodding the head up and down is an accepted way of saying yes in most cultures. Likewise, a side-to side head shake is nonverbal way of saying no, and a shrug of the shoulders in commonly understood a meaning “I don’t know” or “I’m not sure. “Remember, however, that some emblems- such as the thumbs-up gesture- vary from one culture to another (it means “Good job!” in the United States, the number 1 in Germany, and the number 5 in Japan). Other nonverbal signs can be ambiguous even within a single culture. For example, a wink might mean something entirely different to the person on the receiving end than it does to the person winking.

4.3.3 Complementing and Accenting

            Whereas nonverbal emblems convey meaning in-dependent of words, illustrators serve the functions of complementing and accenting verbal statements. Illustrators are behaviours that have no meaning of their own. Snapping your fingers, running your fingers through your hair, or pounding one fist into the other can accompany a positive statement in one instance and a negative one in other: The meaning of such gestures is specific to their context. Emblems are used consciously; you roll your eyes and circle your finger around one ear to signal “He’s crazy” in the United States (in Argentina, it means you have a phone call). IIIustrators are usually unconscious. We rarely plan the smiles and frowns, sighs and laughs, and all the other nonverbal behaviors that so richly complement and accent our words.

4.3.4 Regulating

            Nonverbal regulators help control verbal interaction. The best example of such regulation is the wide array of turn-taking signals in everyday conversation. Research has shown that three nonverbal signals indicate a speaker has finished talking and is ready to yield to a listener:

            (1)        Changes in vocal intonation-a rising or falling in pitch at the end of a clause

            (2)        A drawl on the last syllable or the stressed syllable in a clause

            (3)        A drop in vocal pitch or loudness when speaking a common expression such as                “you know”. You can see how these regulators work by observing almost any                conversation.

            Eye contact is another way of regulating verbal communication. Lack of visual contact is one way to signal turn taking or even to exclude an unwanted person from a conversation. Speakers make surprisingly little eye contact during a conversation, but they commonly focus on another person when coming to the end of their turn. Children (and some socially insensitive adults) have not learned all the subtle signals of such turn taking. Through a rough series of trial and error (very rough in some homes), children finally learn how to “read” other people well enough to avoid interrupting behaviors.

4.3.5 Contradicting

            Nonverbal behavior can often contradict the spoken word. If you said “Go north about two blocks” and pointed south, your nonverbal message would be contradicting what you said.

Although sending such incongruous messages might sound foolish at first, there are times when we deliberately do just this. One deliberate use of Mixed Messages (as they’re often called) is to send a message politely but clearly that might be difficult to handle if it were expressed in words. For instance, think of a time when you became bored with a conversation while your companion kept rambling on. At such a time the most straightforward statement would be, “I’m tired of talking to you and want to go meet someone else.” Although it might feel good to be so direct, this kind of honesty is inappropriate for anyone over five years of age. Instead of being blunt in situations like this, a face-saving alternative is to express your disinterest nonverbally. While nodding politely and murmuring “uh-hunh” and “no kidding” at the appropriate times to indicate your interest in what’s being said, you can signal a desire to leave by looking around the room, turning slightly away from the speaker, or even making point of yawning. In most cases such clues are enough to end the conversation without the awkwardness of expressing outright what’s going on. 

4.3.6 Deceiving

Deception is  perhaps the most, interesting facet of nonverbal communication, and one that social scientists have studied extensively majority of messages we exchange are not completely truthful. As you will read there, not all deception is self- serving or malicious. Much of it is aimed at saving the face of the communicators involved. For example, you might, tell a “benevolent lie” to avoid hurting the feelings of a friend who asks your opinion, that new tattoo looks, uh, really nice. In a situation like this, it’s easy to see how nonverbal factors can make the face-saving deception either succeed or fail.

            It’s easiest to catch liars who haven’t had a chance to rehearse, when they feel strongly about the information being hidden, or when they feel anxious or guilty about their lies. Imagine, for example, that you want to decline an unwanted invitation with a face-saving lie. Your chances of getting away with deception are best if you had advance notice of the invitation. You excuse for not attending likely to be less persuasive if you are caught unprepared. Trust (or lack of it) also plays role in which deceptive messages are successful. People who are suspicious that a speaker may be lying pay closer attention to the speaker’s nonverbal behavior (e.g. talking faster than normal, shifted posture) than people who are not suspicious. Probing the messages of deceptive communicators doesn’t seem to help, perhaps because deceivers who are questioned become more vigilant about concealing the truth and this result in a better cover-up in Table 7.2 which outlines some conditions under which liars are likely to betray themselves nonverbally. See if they match your personal experience.

           

(Table 4.2)  Circumstances in Which a Deceiver Leaks Nonverbal Clues to Deception

Leakage Most Likely	Leakage Least Likely
Wants to hide emotions being experienced at the moment	Wants to hide information unrelated emotions
Feels strongly about the information being hidden	Has no strong feelings about the information being hidden
Feels apprehensive about the deception	Feels confident about the deception
Feels guilty about being deceptive	Experiences little guilt about the deception
Gets little enjoyment form being deceptive	Enjoys the deception
Needs to construct the message carefully while delivering it	Knows the deceptive message well and has rehearsed it

            Decade of research have revealed that there are no surefire nonverbal clues that indicate deception.   Nonetheless, there are some clues that may reveal less-than-totally-honest communication.  For example, deceivers typically make more speech errors than truth -tellers: stammers, stutters, hesitations, false starts, and so on. Vocal pitch often rises when people tell lies, and liars hesitate more. Deceivers tend to blink their eyes more often, fidget with their hands, shift their posture, and blink their eyes more rapidly. Inconsistency is another deception clue. When someone acts inconsistently, he or she may be trying to hide information.  Despite clues like these; it’s a mistake to assume that every tongue-tied, fidgeting, eye-blinking per-son is a liar.

4.4       Symbolism and Passive Non-verbal Communication

The symbolism and other forms of passive non-verbal communication are equally a major influence factor for communication problems between different cultures. The meanings of colors for example can be highly different in various cultures. Although some researchers found color association, and effects highly equal in European societies, and those studies have been confirmed to equally be valid in US America and Canada, however little research has been done outside of that cultural area. More dangerously are, however, historically associated colors and shapes: for example a red circle symbolizes for many south-east Asians Japanese aggression during World War II. Green has become a color dominantly representing Irish and Ireland in countries with a high Irish immigration rate, such as the UK, US and Australia, while being totally associated with the ecological and peace movement in continental Europe.

Numerical symbolism equally can vary. An example of this is the number 13, in Christian cultures often associated with bad luck (in Christian methodology, 13 is unlucky as 13 attendants were at the Last Supper), while in Jewish societies, 13 is a number of luck: The Talmud teaches that God has 13 attributes. Politically and religiously connected symbols can equally cause confusion, or even anger. A cross, for example, worn in a Middle Eastern Arab society might be interpreted as a direct attack onto the Islam (and may even be forbidden to be worn by law).

The words of a speech “are meaningless unless the rest of you are in synchronization,” says a communications consultant who has advised various presidential candidates.  Corporate executives, he says, “often get up and send all sorts of weird signals to their audience. My favorite is, ‘Ladies and gentlemen, I’m very happy to be here.’ But they’re looking at their shoes as they say it. They have no enthusiasm whatsoever. They look angry, frightened, or depressed about being there.”

When there is a discrepancy between words and nonverbal behavior, the audience will always go with the visual signals over the verbal ones, they’ll say to themselves unconsciously, ‘He’s telling me he’s happy to be here, but he’s really not. Therefore, he’s either uncomfortable or a liar, or both. To get your nonverbal signals synchronized with your words, you need to show enthusiasm (with your eye, facial expression, posture, and tone of voice) as you speak to your audience. Let your body confirm that you believe in what you are saying and that you want your audience to accept your ideas.

If you are truly enthusiastic about your speech and eager to share it with your audience, much of your body language will take care of itself, as we discussed at the beginning of this chapter. But you may be asking, “What if I don’t really feel happy and confident? I can’t lie with my body, can I?” This is a good question, because there are times when you resent having to give a speech, as when the boss orders you to give a presentation to the board of directors or an instructor assigns you to give oral report to the class. Sometime you simply don’t feel like standing up in front of a group. May be you did not much sleep the night before, and you have no zip, no spark. At times like these, what should you do? Pretend. Yes, pretend to confident in yourself and in your ideas. Pretend to be glad to appear before your audience. Pretend to be enthusiastic. But, you may ask, isn’t this forcing the body to tell a lie? Yes, but we often must simulate cheerfulness and animation in life’s myriad tasks: a crucial job interview, a conference with the boss, an important date with someone we love. By acting as if we are confident, poised, and enthusiastic, we often find that after a few minutes, the pretense gives away to reality. We truly become confident, poised, and enthusiastic.

            Consider the comedians and talk-show hosts who appear night after night on TV. Do you think they are always “up”? No. Like you and me, they have their bad days, their sluggish days, their down-in-the-dump days, and their head-cold and stomach-ache days. Nevertheless, they force themselves to perform; they pretend to be enthusiastic. After about 60 seconds, most of them report, the pretense gives way to reality and they are enthusiastic. (A word of advice: If this transformation fails to happen to you – if you don’t feel enthusiastic after a few minutes – you should continue to pretend). How do you carry out this pretense? How can you make your body “lie” for you? By knowing and using the signals that the body sends out to show confidence and energy. The following discussion of the major nonverbal aspects of public speaking will help you become aware of these signals.

(1)        Personal Appearance

You audience will size up your personal appearance and start forming opinions about you even before you mouth to begin your speech. You should be clean, well-groomed, and attractively dressed.

            (2)        Eye Contact

Look at your audience 95 percent of the time, with the other 5 percent devoted to occasional glances at your notes. Having good eye contact with your listeners is important for three reasons:

(1)     It creates an important bond of communication and rapport                            between you and them. It is a “figurative handshake.”

(2)     It shows your sincerity. There’s an old saying: “Don’t buy a used                    car from a dealer who won’t look you in the eye.” We distrust                people who won’t look at us openly and candidly. If you want your                  listeners to have confidence in what you are saying, look at them,               not at a spot on the back wall.

 (3)    It enables you to get audience feedback. Looking directly at your                  listener’s makes you listeners make you instantly aware of any                      lapses in communication. For example, did a number of listeners                look puzzled when you made your last statement? Then you                  obviously confused them; you need to explain your point in a                      different way.

The biggest spoiler of good eye contact is looking at your notes too much a mistake that is that is usually made for these two reasons:

(a)     You are unprepared. This can be corrected by rehearsing your                       speech so many times that you need only glance at your notes                         to remind yourself of what comes next.

(b)     You are nervous. Some speakers are well-prepared and don’t                       really need to look at their note very often, but they are so                                  nervous that they scrutinize their notes to gain security and avoid                     the audience. One way to correct this is to put reminders, in giant                  red letters, on your notes – LOOK AT AUDIENCE – to nudge you             out of this habit.

Another killer of eye contact is handouts. You should never distribute a handout during a speech unless it is simple and short. If you give listeners an eight-page packet during your speech, you will lose eye communication.       Eye contact is more than darting furtive glances at the audience from time to time. It is more than mechanically moving your head from side to side like as oscillating fan. You must have meaningful contact similar to the eye-to-eye communication you engage in with your friends. For a large audience, the best technique is to have a “conversation” with three or four people in different parts of he room (so that you seem to be giving your attention to the entire audience to the entire audience). For a small audience, look at every listener. Professional speaker uses a technique called “locking” whenever he speaks to a small gathering. He says that I learned something once from a piano player. I couldn’t believe how she held an audience in a cocktail bar. It was so quiet in there you couldn’t believe it. I realized one night what she was doing. She was looking at each person and as soon as she made eye contact with them, she smiled at them. And then moved on to the next one, and smiled. She was “locking” everybody in. this is a good technique in public speaking – very simple, too.

(4)        Facial Expressions

Let your face express whatever emotion is appropriate at any given moment in a speech. A student told me he was planning to speak on how to perform under pressure; his primary example was the thrilling moment in high school when he kicked the winning field goal in the final seconds of a championship football game. When he described that triumphant feat to me, his face was suffused with excitement, but when he got up in front of the class and told the same story in his speech, his face was blank. Gone was the joy, gone was the exhilaration. By having a facial expression that was incongruous with the event he was describing, he weakened the impact of the story.

            If you are speaking about sad or somber topics, your face should not be grinning; if you are speaking about happy items, your face should not be grimacing. And whatever you are talking about, your face should never be devoid of any emotion – it should be animated. “Animation,” says a speech consultant is the greatest cosmetic you can use, and it doesn’t cost a cent. Animation is energy in the face. It’s action that comes not only through the eyes, but around the mouth and the whole face. It tells the listener you’re glad to be right where you are – at the lectern, around a conference tale or across a desk. How can you make your face become animated? By choosing a subject about which you care a great deal, by having a strong desire to communicate your message to your listeners, and by delivering your speech with energy and enthusiasm.

(5)        Posture

Good posture conveys assurance and helpfulness. Stand in front of your audience poised, with your weight equally distributed on your feet. Your body language should convey the message, “I am confident; I am in command of this situation.” This does not mean that you should be cocky and arrogant, but simply that you should convey an appearance of relaxed alertness. If you are speaking at a lectern, here are some things not to do: Don’t lean on it. Don’t slouch to one side of it. Don’t prop your feed on its base. Don’t rock back and forth with it.

            Some speakers like to sit on the edge of a desk to deliver a speech. This posture is fine for one-hour classroom lectures because the speaker gets a chance to relax, and his or her body language bespeaks openness and informality. But for short speeches, especially the kind you are expected to deliver in a public speaking class, stand up straight. It is easier to alert and enthusiastic if you are standing up that if your body is in a relaxed sitting position.

(6)        Movement

You don’t have to stand in one place throughout your speech as if you were glued to the spot. Feel free to move about. You can walk to the chalkboard and write a key word, or walk to your visual aid. Occasionally you can move left or right from the lectern to a new position in front of the audience.        Movement gives your body a chance to dissipate nervous energy. It can also be used to recapture you listeners’ attention if they are getting bored or tired; an animated speaker is easier to follow than an unanimated speaker who stays frozen in one spot.

            You can use movement to emphasize a transition from one point to the next. For example, walking three steps to the left of the lectern while giving the audience a verbal “bridge” to your next point, is a good way to emphasize that you are moving from one idea to another. Movement can also be used to drive home an important point. At a crucial juncture in your speech, when you want strong audience involvement, you can take a few steps toward the listeners as you state a key idea. Moving toward them signals nonverbally that you are keenly interested in having them understand and accept what you are saying.

            All of your movements should be purposeful and confident – not random and nervous. If you roam back and forth across the front of the room like a tiger in a cage, your audience will be distracted and even annoyed. Don’t sway back and forth; don’t rock on your heels. In short, make your movements add to your speech, rather than subtract from it.

(7)        Using Notes

For classroom speeches, your instructor will tell you whether you may use notes. If you do take cards or sheets of paper to a lectern, arrange them in whatever way works best for you. Some speakers place them in a stack on the lectern and consult one at a time. Other speakers spread them out, so that several are visible at a time. Whatever note system is used, remember our earlier warning: Use notes sparingly. Look at your audience 95 percent of the time.

(8)        Gestures

What should you do with your hands during a speech? First of all, make sure they do nothing to distract the audience: Don’t let them jingle keys or coins, riffle note cards, fiddle with a watch or jewelry, adjust clothing, smooth your hair, rub your chin, or scratch any part of your body. The best thing you can do with your hands is to let them be free to make gestures whenever you feel like making them. This, after all, is how you make gestures in conversation – naturally and without thinking. To make sure that your hands are free for gesturing, you can either let them hang by your side or allow them to rest on the lectern. Beware of doing things that prevent your hands from being free to gesture:

(a) Don’t grip the lectern with your hands.

(b) Don’t clutch your notes with both hands.

(c) Don’t stuff both hands into your pockets.

            If you use a lectern, don’t let it hide your gestures. Some speakers rest their hands on the lectern and make tiny, flickering gestures that cannot be seen by the audience. This makes the speaker look tentative and unsure. Better no gestures at all that hidden ones. A British speech consultant advises, when you make gestures, use all of your arm, don’t tuck in your elbows to your waist or make jerky, half-hearted, meaningless gestures. I remember a tall woman in one of my courses who, through shyness, stood hunched up, making tiny movements with her hands. We advised her to stand tall, make eye contact, and use her arms to express her enthusiasm. The result was startling – she become regal and was very impressive. Without even opening her mouth, she looked like a self-confident, interesting speaker.

                Some speeches call for lots of gestures; some call for little or none. If you were describing your battle to catch a huge fish, you would find your hands and arms constantly in motion; if you were giving a funeral eulogy, you might not make any gestures at all. Most gestures should occur naturally and not be planned, but there are a few occasions when it is appropriate to plan and rehearse them. If you have three major points to make, you can practice holding up the correct number of fingers to assist the audience in following your points. If you are discussing two contrasting ideas, you can hold up your left hand when you say, “on the one hand …” and then hold up your right hand when you say, “On the other hand …”

            The larger the audience, the more sweeping your gestures should be. Evangelists and political leaders who use broad, expansive arm movements in addressing multitudes  in giant stadiums are doing so for a good reason: They are able to establish a bond with people who are hundreds of yards away. Small gestures would be lost in the vastness of the arena.

            One last comment about gestures: If you are the kind of person who simply does not gesture much, don’t worry about it. You have got enough on your mind without having to add this item to your list of worries. Just be sure to keep your hands free (not clutching notes or the lectern), so that if a gesture wells up inside you and cries out for expression, you will be able to make it naturally and forcefully.

4.4.1    Beginning and Ending

First impressions are important in many human events. The first impression we make on a person at a party, for example, often determines whether that person will want to spend much time chatting with us. In a speech, as one IBN executive told that you have only one chance to make a first impression. You make the first impression as you walk to the front and as you say your first few sentences.         When you rise from your seat, avoid sighing, groaning, or mumbling words of regret. Walk forward with an air of confidence – don’t shamble like a condemned prisoner en route to the guillotine. Avoid the mistake of rushing forward and starting to speak even before you get to the front. Listeners need time to get settled, so that they can clear their minds of other things and tune in to you.

When you face your audience, pause a few seconds before speaking. Don’t by way a word – just stand in silence. Some inexperienced speakers are terrified by this silence; they view it as a horrible event that makes the audience think they are too frozen with fear to speak. If you have this concern, relax. A brief period of silence is a very effective technique which all good speakers use. It is a punctuation device, separating what went before from what is to come-your speech. It crates drama, giving the audience a sense of expectancy. It is a dignified quietness that establishes your confidence and authority. In some cases, you may need to wait longer than a few seconds. If you are speaking to a civic club, for example, and a large number of people are arriving late, it is best to wait until the noise created by the latecomers has settled down. Or if many members of the audience are still whispering comments related to the previous speaker, simply stand and wait until you have their attention.

            During these opening moments of silence, you have a chance to make sure your notes are in order and to review once again what you will say in your introduction. The next step is very important. Before you say a word, give your audience a friendly, confident look (if possible and appropriate, smile) and then, continuing to look at your listeners instead of at your notes, say your first few sentences. You should have practiced your introduction thoroughly, so that you can say it without looking sown at your notes. It is important to establish eye contact at this point. By looking at the listeners directly, your body language is saying, “I’m talking to you-I’m not up here just going through the motions of making a speech. I want to communicate. I want to reach out to you.”

            While first impressions are vital, final impressions are also important. Your conclusion should be well rehearsed (though not memorized), so that you can say it without looking at your notes. At the end of your speech, pause a few moments, look at your audience and say, “I wonder what questions you have” or “I’ll be happy to answer your questions now.” Avoid gathering up your papers and learning toward your seat – this sends a nonverbal message: “Please don’t ask me any question.”

4.4.2    The Question – and – Answer Period

The question-and-answer period is an important way for listeners to get clarification and further information. In classroom speeches, it usually represents a small percentage of the total time spent in front of the audience, but in some presentation in business, professional, and technical fields, it is the most important part. Your speech is just a prelude – in effect, a little warm-up to get the audience ready to ask their questions. In some sales presentations, for example, the speaker will talk for, say, 10 minutes and then the question-and-answer period will go on for over an hour, with the listeners getting down to the nitty-gritty (“Okay, you say this machine will never wear out, but what happens if…”)

            Many listeners are so accustomed to listener – speaker interaction that they will interrupt during a speech to ask questions. In some technical presentations or classroom lectures, such interruptions might be appropriate and acceptable, but in other speeches, they are a nuisance. The continuity of the speaker’s remarks is broken because listeners are prematurely asking questions that will be answered later in the speech. If you feel that your speech would be marred by interruptions, you should announce (in the orienting material of your introduction), “I know many of you will have questions. I’d like to ask you to hold them until I finish my presentation and then I’ll be happy to try to answer them.”

            Here are some guidelines:

(1)        Find out ahead of time if the person planning the program will want or permit a question-and-answer period, and, it so, how much time will be allotted.

(2)        Decided in advance it you want to invite comments as well as question. If you do, you can say, “I would like to hear your questions or comments.” (In some situations, you may not want comments because they could mushroom into long-winded rebuttals that detract from your message and leave no time for short, clarifying questions.)

(3)        Plan for the question-and answer period as carefully as you plan for the speech itself. Jot down all the questions that might come from the audience, and then decide exactly how you will answer them if they are asked. An executive, recommends that you ask an associate to prepare a list of questions based on your talk, thus giving you a realistic preview of the questions you may be asked buy our listeners.

(4)        Try to regard the question-and-answer period as a blessing, not a curse. It gives you valuable feedback – it helps ensure that the message you intended the listeners to receive is indeed the one they end up with. If a misunderstanding has occurred, you have an excellent opportunity to clear it up.

Mini Case Study

Fred, the manager of a large US bookstore, hired Ching Wu, a newcomer from China, as one of his clerks. In an attempt to get to know Ching Wu better, Fred invited her to join him for coffee. Throughout their conversation, he noticed that Ching Wu looked down at the floor and never gave him eye contact. He interpreted this as lack of respect. Discuss the nonverbal communication differences in this situation.